Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in floodlikewater's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
4:41 pm	Lots of things First of all, I have so many ideas for this and I never write any of them down. But I am especially more tempted to write when you are not online (yes and I mean you, because you're the only person who knows about my blog!) So I'm going to try and take baby steps and maybe I'll actually start writing more often. Last night I had an overwhelming feeling of regret. And frustration. The catalyst was an email from CU Boulder informing me that I could sign up for campus health care for *just* $875 a semester. Next year I am going to make $13,345 BEFORE taxes. Where the hell, on top of paying rent, am I supposed to come up with that money? I also have very little faith in campus clinics. Granted, UC Santa Cruz and the Flinders University of South Australia are very far away, but go figure that I had an infection misdiagnosed in both places. At UCSC, my best friend had pneumonia for probably weeks before the clinic really did anything about it. At one point they even left her, alone, in an exam room with bags of ice under her armpits to cool down her fever! That, to me, sounds rather archaic (albeit effective). Thankfully, this is all not important, as I discovered that here in Colorado (unlike in Massachusetts), one can purchase semi-affordable individual HMO plans. So I don't even have to change doctors when my official title switches from Professional Research Assistant to Masters Candidate! Granted, it's still going to probably be $100 out of pocket every month, but that's $50 less than CU's plan and I will have access to almost certainly better medical care. PHEW. Last night, there was no "phewing." I was tired and frustrated and mulling over my frustration over my health care situation since college. Then everything came flooding back. Everything I will be frustrated about for the rest of my life. Mostly related to items of my dads. And you know my opinion on that. But I was tired and laying in bed just tearing up and apologizing to my dad. Weird, the things that can set me off. Wild turkeys on Aspinwall Ave? What is this world coming to? Actually Joshua says lots of wild turkeys apparently live in B-Line. And I would like to state, prior to him taking the mound, I have little faith in David Pauley to do well this evening. I would love him very much if he proves me wrong. Ok I'm being attacked by a cat who wishes to be brushed. Later. Current Mood: calm Current Music: YES Network :( (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
11:46 pm	Movies not to watch when you have time to mull them over...... We went to a friends house tonight and watched a movie called Match Point. We were thinking Woody Allen, serious but quirky, a good time to be had by all. Well, let me tell you (don't read the next sentence if you don't want to know what happens), movies about guys who kill their pregnant lovers and never get caught are a total mind fuck. The other thing that happened, is now I have to read Crime and Punishment, because there was a reference to it in the movie and everyone but me got it. I felt VERY out of the loop. In any case, now I'm tired, and am going to be thinking about this movie where Scarlett Johanssen gets shot in the face by her loser lover who can't give up his wife and the lifestyle to which he's become accustomed. Granted. SJ's character had a screw lose, but she didn't deserve what she got. And the movie was so drawn out, it was painful. I had no clue what I was in for. In other news.... my dad's house sold. It was on the market for less than a week. I'll get to see it one more time, but I'm kind of afraid to. I'm afraid they painted over Daddy's mural above the stairs. I don't want to see a blank wall, I don't think I'd really be able to handle that. Apparently the woman who is buying it already has big plans. Extra bathrooms and decks etc. I don't want to see the house empty and preparing for someone who has no idea what my family went through in that house. She has no idea that in the corner of the living room, my dad took his last breath. That's not her fault of course, and it's time to move on from that home. The spirit of that house will be with me when I use the profits as a downpayment on a home of my own. Also, it's a place. And I have the memories that are really important. Bella is on my lap, purring. Josh is playing the guitar and looking really cute. I will forget about depressing movies about depressing situations I'm not involved in. I will shortly crawl in to bed and dream about the house I'm going to buy in a few years, wherever the hell it may be. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Josh playing a Reid Genauer song (1 Comment |Comment on this)